Posted by: Nancy | December 19, 2010

Anxiety

I’ve always believed that worrying is great waste of energy and creativity. I’ve always refused to give it a home with me.

Lately, it’s crept in anyway.

Part of it has come with my sister, who lately has been developing her own anxieties. She now gets anxious when I am not home, as it is difficult for her to keep track of my work schedule, which sometimes allows me to be at home but often requires that I am out. She gets upset and worries, wandering the house and talking to herself, unable to focus. It becomes increasingly difficult for my husband to calm her down.

She also is awakening in the night, filled with uncertainty, but wanting to arise. It becomes a challenge to convince her that it’s still night, and time for sleeping. She gets nervous and frustrated when her things aren’t Just So, exactly positioned where and how she likes them.

These anxieties are taking greater hold of her… and now I find that I’m sharing them too. Not the same ones as her, but anxieties FOR her, because of her.

I am working to banish them — replace them with action. So far, my meager actions haven’t won the day, but I will not nurture fear and anxiety. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t.

Instead it’s actions: Research — reading about Alzheimer’s research and practices, medical insights, etc. It’s talking with others (thanks to my friends at Siblings Are Great Advocates). It’s describing all this to others in the family and drawing their support and help. It’s working harder to help her understand and overcome her own anxieties.

Action, I believe, must be the conqueror of anxiety.

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